Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
how drunk are you?
Several
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
