I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
