Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
