We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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