But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize