I wish I only lived at night.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
