I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I am spending my child support on dildos
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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