his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
NoShamevember. You game?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
