omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just high enough for therapy.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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