weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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