she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
