i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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