NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
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