I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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