I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
