Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize