i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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