Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
