and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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