he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
