4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
