Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
