Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
