I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
