I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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