Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
