she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
