Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
