so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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