Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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