New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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