Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
