if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
