You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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