Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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