umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
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