i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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