Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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