Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
So drunk its hurt
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
