Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
