NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
