So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
