super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
