Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
My feet surprised me
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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