How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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