those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So apparently I’m into choking now
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