I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
