I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
