he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
