Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
