home. puking in laundry basket.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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