Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
