I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
