Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
