i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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