dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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