he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
