Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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