well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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