wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
