Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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