Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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