i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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