So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
