I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
