I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
