i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
